Sunday 2 September 2018

Next Steps - Choosing a Nanny

Several of my clients have decided that they would like ongoing help with their childcare. There are several options to consider:

Nanny - lives in or out of your house, can often work long hours including evenings, nights or weekends. Is employed by you so you are responsible for their contract, pay and tax.

Childminder - cares for your child in their own home. Generally offers working-day care. You are a client so pay them a set fee.

Nurseries - care for your child on their specially adapted premises, in a large group of children. Generally open 8-6 or similar. You are a client so pay them a set fee.

Au Pair - sole charge of children over 2 (before/after school) and/or support with a parent for under 2s, and light housework, for around 25h a week including any babysitting evenings. You pay them pocket money and give them bed, board and treat them like a family member. I regularly hear of au pairs being expected to do the job of a nanny on the cheap. Here's a link to sensible expectations https://eastmidlandsnanniesandaupairs.co.uk/find-an-au-pair/roles-and-expectations/ 

Here I'll share a list of things to think about when choosing a nanny, though many of the questions are applicable to any childcare provider you might be talking to. In this scenario, the family are looking for a nanny who will also do some household chores. Some nannies will only do child-related chores (baby washing, child meals), others will apply for mixed roles like the nanny/housekeeper one discussed below. It's really important to be clear about your needs from the outset, so applicants know what they are expected to do and can choose to apply for roles that fit with their own needs and preferences.

Documents to be seen:
Enhanced DBS check (either less than 3 months old or registered to the online update service which you can then check)
ID check to ensure able to work in UK (passport, visa)
Original qualification certificates (Level 3 or 4 (or higher) in childcare and / or ‘common core’ nanny training)
Nanny insurance certificate or public liability (some families will pay for this (£70ish/year) but it is the nanny who registers for it
12 h pediatric first aid certificate
CV (looking for lengthy stays with families and families with babies of a similar age to yours. If you have multiples, look for experience with those.)
Checkable references from her current/last job and 2 more. Suggest phoning refs with a question to validate them (how was x when your baby was teething or similar)
If going to drive, business insurance and licence/MOT etc

Describe post:
Hours, duties (childcare, meal prep, household tasks, expectations whilst baby sleeps), salary (gross, not net), your level of involvement/whether you’ll be at home during the day,  meal arrangments during the day, holidays booked, expected length of the contract.

Possible Questions:
Why did they choose nannying?
What attracted them to your post?
What did they most enjoy about their last post? Why did they/are they leaving?
How would they plan a typical day with baby at eg x months old?
What activities do they enjoy doing with babies? Do they attend baby groups /nanny meetups with their current / last charge?
What strategies would they try if e.g. baby was unsettled and not sleepy?
How do you feel about leaving babies to cry?
How would they use the garden/park to support baby’s development?
What would they do if they were out and baby was sick and burning up? (looking for immediate care/first aid, assessment of illness/seriousness and contact with you to discuss)
What recent training/reading about child development have they been on?
Can they give an example of where an issue arose with a family and how they worked it through?
How do they feel about routines for babies of babies of X’s age (no ‘right answer’, looking to be in tune with your parenting philosophy)
(If looking for meal prep) What are some of your favourite dishes to prepare for a family?
What are they looking for in an employer/family?
How do they feel about caring for a sick child?
Can you tell me about a moment recently that made you happy to be a nanny?

Expect a good nanny to be interviewing you back with a list of questions to check that they would fit in well to your family.

If it’s going well, tell them a little more about your parenting style/beliefs.


Things to consider:
Nannies are generally considered employees rather than self employed by HMRC, so you will be liable for their workplace pension (unless they opt out – new legal requirement), employer’s liability insurance (about £100/year)  NI and taxes. 
https://www.nannytax.co.uk/salary-considerations/gross-vs-net is a good article on why advertising a gross not a net salary is the best.
www.childcare.co.uk a good place to advertise 
https://ginghamkids.co.uk/  a nanny agency that I signpost when asked for a recommendation, ask for Dee.
Previous clients can also send me their ad text and I’ll also advertise it in my facebook nanny groups for the relevant geographical area.




Thursday 22 March 2018

What does a birth doula do?

*disclaimer - this is an amalgam of births I have supported, to give the feel of what I do rather than telling the story of one particular birth and to protect client confidentiality.*

There have been texts to and fro for a few days, signalling that changes are happening that might  mean that birth is imminent, so I've made sure I head to bed early and am not surprised when at 2am the phone rings.

"We think that I'm in labour and we'd like you to come over please." As their birth doula, I will support this family from whenever they feel that they would like the one to one support, rather than from a particular point in the labour. There's no need to wait for established or active labour to be in full flow - if the family feel like they would like my presence then I head straight to them, whatever time of day or night.

When I arrive the mother is in the living room, using her birth ball, and I check when she last ate, drank and used the bathroom. I observe her having a contraction, and when it is over ask if there is anything that might make her more comfortable - a warm compress, a lower back massage or some music. Her partner shows me the record they have been making of the contractions and I agree that it seems to point in the direction of increasing intensity and decreasing gaps, which is great. I suggest that her partner has something substantial to eat and ask the mother to be if she fancies some cut up fresh fruit to nibble on, which she does so I prepare a little for her to snack on and refill her water with fresh.

We talk through how the last couple of days and the changes that they've both been noticing. Whilst I've been here I've noticed definite changes in how the mother is managing each contraction - she now has to stop talking and really think and breath through what is happening. Her partner looks a little anxious, but I reassure them that this all looks normal and just shows that things are all heading in the right direction. By now I'm giving a lower back massage through each contraction, which seems to be helping, and her partner is on the other side of her, holding her hands to balance her on the ball. It's fabulous that she is surrounded by love and support.

The family have chosen to birth at the local midwife-led birth centre, and the partner asks me if we should call them and head over. I remind them that it's their decision and that they can always call in to the midwives for a chat to help them make their choice.  Having spoken to a midwife they decide it's the right time to go in, so I travel in the back of the car with the mum as her partner drives (slowly) to the birth centre.

As they get checked in, the midwife asks about when the mother last used the toilet - as she can't remember I remind them that it was half an hour ago, as I've been making sure that I suggest a visit at least every hour. I pop out to let the midwife know that the wee sample is ready for her to test. I also make sure that the special things the mother wanted on display are taken out of the bags and are placed so that she can see them, and connect up her ipod to the room's sound system so that she can listen to her chosen music whilst she labours. The midwife asks the mum if she wants a vaginal (internal) examination, and as she's not sure, I remind her of the pros and cons and what she'd put in her birth plan, then suggest she asks the midwife more about why she's recommending it to help her make the right decision for her.

As the labour progresses I suggest changes of position to help the mother to remain active, which is great for the baby's descent, and use my doula bag of bits and bobs to help her to be comfortable - straws so that she doesn't have to tip her head back to drink, honey sachets when she needs energy but doesn't want to eat, and a cold flannel on her forehead when she's getting too warm in the birth pool. I remind her of the awesome job she is doing, and how well her body is working.

Because contractions have slowed a little, the midwife and I work to support the mother in some 'Spinning Babies' positions. It's great when everyone's on the same page with what might help, and it turns out that the midwife and I were at the same training session last year!

Things are getting more intense, and I'm reminding the mother of the breathing techniques she wanted to use by mirroring them to her, as her partner has taken over massage duties. I reiterate the midwife's suggestions, making sure that the mother has heard and taken them in, and that her partner also understands what is being suggested and why. I also keep smiling at her partner, so that they know all is well and going just as expected - it can be pretty daunting if you've not witnessed a birth before!

As the birth gets closer, the partner and I work together to physically support the mum in the positions she wants to be in and as the baby is born I'm able to take a few photos which was a special request from this family. I then help the mum move her leg back over the cord, so that she can welcome her baby onto her chest as she had planned. I help the midwife to put some fresh pads and bedding underneath the mother so that she is more comfortable, and congratulate the new family. When they are ready, I fetch both parents some tea and toast which they devour with gusto.

After a couple of hours of getting to know their newborn, mum decides that she'd like some help with showering, so we head off to the en suite together with fresh clothes and I help her to get cleaned up. Back with the baby, I point out some of the features that help the parents to see if the baby is latched and positioned well for breastfeeding. The family are staying in the birth centre for a few more hours to get some sleep, and decide that it is time for them to be alone as a new family, so I hug them all and head home to enjoy a sleep too. We'll meet up again in a week or two when they are ready to talk through their birth.